ScarredFan
by Hazel Blackwood
Summary: After having been appointed as the new 16th Division commander Izo found himself struggling with two things: How could he possibly live up to everyone's expectations and how on earth was he going to survive having these feelings for Thatch?
1. Chapter 1

_'When you love someone you always want to be near them, and if they aren't, then your mind will occupy you with your memory of them, making sure you don't forget them.'_

''I'm not going to be a commander. I don't fit that role, Marco,'' Izo explained. He was tired of repeating the same reply over and over again. Marco, the first Division commander, was trying to bring Izo to accept becoming the sixteenth Division commander, but Izo had always been more of a follower than a leader.

He never felt like taking on such a responsibility. He liked watching from the sidelines and following the tides where they took him. But somehow, Marco was sure Izo could do it. He had never been this persistent with him before.

Izo finished the haircut he was giving to Marco and ran his fingers through the soft blond locks once more before looking at him in the mirror. ''Here you go. Finished.'' He always gave his brothers haircuts, made clothes for them, whether they wanted it or not, and made sure the younger ones always brushed their teeth. He sort of saw it as his job to do so. Up until now he had always been part of Marco's Division, so they mostly had to endure this persistent side of Izo.

''Thank you, yoi,'' Marco replied with a smile. He preferred the one and only look he always had, ever since he was young. The sides were bald while strands of hair stuck out of the top of his head, making others call him a pineapple, because it did make him look like one. ''You know I think you do fit in. It's not like you'll be handling the organization of the crew. You simply look over your division and make sure everything goes alright. You have a strategist who can help you fight the battles and you assist other divisions against their opponents, yoi,'' he explained as if being a commander was that easy. He took off the towel that hung around his shoulders and gazed back at Izo with his stern blue eyes.

Izo took the towel from him and looked helplessly at it. ''I wouldn't know what to do. The others will look differently at me.. I just don't think I'd be able to carry that much responsibility.'' He was always able to voice his worries and thoughts to Marco. They had known each other ever since Izo joined the Whitebeard Pirates when he was fifteen years old. Marco taught him a lot and he became really important to Izo because of that.

Marco sighed. ''You always think too much. You need to have more confidence in yourself. It seems hard because you are not used to be a leader, yoi. That's why you keep thinking you can't do it.''

''But why me?'' He asked in return. He still didn't understand why he could possibly be a good commander.

Marco stood up, making Izo take a step backwards to let him through. Standing before him held him by his upper arms. ''Simple. Because I say so,'' Marco replied.

''Huh? That doesn't make sense, Marco.'' There had to be a reason, a valid one, why he thought Izo would be a good commander, right?

''Izo, I don't want the same thing happening like what the previous Second Division Commander did, yoi. So now, I make sure I choose the right ones, and I am pretty sure you'll do just fine.'' The previous Second had been a painful subject for the entire crew, especially _Oyaji_. Everyone trusted the Second with all their hearts like they would for any sibling, but to be betrayed by someone so close to them.. They didn't really talk about it, definitely not if Oyaji was near. It still ached his heart to hear the Second's name.

Izo did understand now why Marco wanted him as the new commander of the sixteenth Division, but it didn't change his mind entirely. He was still doubting his abilities. When he wanted to speak up, Marco brought his forehead to Izo's and held the back of Izo's head with his hand. ''I will help you and guide you if necessary. You can lean on me for the time being until you are confident enough. Try it out and if it still doesn't work out for you after a month then I will not force you to be one of the commanders. Is that okay with you?''

Doubt was clearly visible in his eyes when he stared into Marco's deep blue ones. It was worth a try, wasn't it? He could always fall back on Marco and if he really didn't like doing this then he could stop. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again. ''Alright, I'll do it,'' he muttered with a bit of a pout trying to force its way on Izo's lips.

Marco smiled at him and let him go. ''Good, I'll go tell pops. I'll be there with you when you'll visit your Division.'' With that having said, he squeezed Izo in his shoulder once before leaving the room. Izo started to sweep the floor to occupy his mind with something other than the worries of the decision he just made when someone knocked on the door.

''Come in,'' Izo called out while finishing up his task. When the door opened Izo looked up and smiled. ''Thatch, are you here for a haircut?'' He asked wondering why the cook was out of the kitchen at this time of the day. He took his duty as a chef very serious after all.

''Hey, thought I'd bring you some brownies. You've been giving haircuts all day, haven't you?'' He walked in with a small plate in his hands. The smell of chocolate filled the room, which was pleasant to Izo. Thatch grinned at him and placed the plate on a table near him. He was wearing his usual get up. His chef clothes with his hair in what seems an impossible pompadour. He took great pride in it since he managed to make it so big. A scar was visible under his eye and his never disappearing smile covered his face.

''I have. Many decide to do it on the same day, apparently. Although, I am not sure why,'' he pondered finding it quite odd indeed, but apparently this was simply how the family worked. It hadn't been any different the past few years. Ever since Marco found out Izo was good at styling and making clothes, he sort of took it upon him to do it for the entire crew.

''Well, at least you'll be done today and won't have to worry about it tomorrow!'' Thatch said cheerfully. ''Has Marco been able to persuade you? He looked rather happy.''

Izo sighed. Of course everyone knew about Marco trying to get Izo to join. They all secretly hoped Izo would join. It wasn't really a secret, but they thought Izo wouldn't notice the hopeful glances he received occasionally. ''He has..'' he started but before he could explain even a single word Thatch jumped up and down once.

''See?! I knew it! I won the bet!'' Realizing what he just said he closed his mouth, now looking troubled.

''You bet on it?'' Izo asked baffled. ''With who?'' And knowing Thatch wouldn't give him the name he took a step closer, crossing his arms and pursing his lips. ''Tell me, Thatch, with who and why did you bet on this?'' They found it funny apparently, but to Izo this was a nerve wrecking change. It took him weeks to manage to yes, for he had only refused up until now.

Holding up his hands in a defensive manner Thatch smiled hesitantly. ''I'm sorry, Izo. It's not all that bad, although you seem to think so. It was more of a joke, although not that enjoyable for you..'' The last part came out as a mutter, realizing he was only messing up more. ''I-I know this makes you nervous and all! Gosh, I almost pissed my pants back when I had to give my first order,'' he chuckled nervously, ''but you'll get used to it quickly, I'm sure!''

Letting out a frustrated noise Izo threw up his arms. It made Thatch look even more troubled than he already did, but not enough for Izo. Of course it was not enjoyable to him, for the Sea Goddess' sake! Taking a deep breath, because he honestly had no idea what to do with this, he calmed himself and hid his arms in his long sleeves before sitting in a comfortable chair with one leg crossed over the other. ''Thank you for the brownies. I appreciate it,'' he replied harsher than he intended to.

''Izo.. come on, man..'' Thatch still tried.

He softened his gaze and relaxed his shoulders. ''It's fine,'' said Izo quietly. ''I should've expected it and perhaps I really am panicking too much. It's what I am good at, is it not?'' He couldn't let out the irritated tone, even though he meant what he said. Thatch often had to suffer from Izo's temperamental moods so he could never stay angry for long.

Thatch decided it was safe to approach now since he took a few steps towards him and sat in a chair across from him. ''You're worried, you care. That's why you freak out so often. What's so wrong with that?''

''Well, apparently, others don't agree with that.''

''How so?'' Thatch asked confused. ''Don't tell me you've been filling your mind with this lately?'' Thatch sounded perplexed, making Izo avert his eyes guiltily. He knew it was bad to think like that, but with all the worrying about the commander thing he couldn't help but downgrade himself like that. ''Izo, if anything, I think you have a big heart having saved a place in it for each brother and Oyaji. Not to mention you are strong and have leading qualities. You're always honest and fair. I don't see why you think you're not good enough for this.''

A jolt of happiness shot through his stomach as Izo took in those words, or rather, compliments. He never really paid attention to what he was good at, others did point them out, but not like this. Not the way Thatch did it. It felt different when he tried to cheer Izo up. It had always been different. And why? Because Thatch managed to make him happy entirely, not just a part of him, but everything. It was as if the negativity washed away and made place for what Thatch thought he was good at.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as Izo pinched his arm inside his sleeve to prevent him from showing the happiness he felt. The corners of his lips curled upwards as he couldn't hide how he felt completely. ''I think I just need to get used to this.. And calm down perhaps. That would help a lot,'' he muttered. He wanted to thank him, but the words got stuck on his tongue, not being able to let them roll out of his mouth.

Thatch traded his worried expression for a happier one, which he showed through a grin and small wrinkles showing up on the sides of his eyes. ''Now, eat those brownies and come with me. A nearby island is being attacked by other pirates. Your Division and mine is to take them out.''

Surprised, Izo shook his head. ''But Marco would introduce me first!''

''He will, I guess. I haven't spoken to him yet, but Oyaji wants us to set sail right away. Maybe Marco will accompany us?'' Thatch stood up. ''Don't worry!'' He said after seeing Izo's troubled look. ''It's an easy task and we'll help you out. You've got to throw yourself into the deep from time to time so you can learn to crawl back up yourself, you know.'' It would have been a wise advice had he been informed of this earlier. No wonder Marco tried to convince him harder than ever to accept the job.

Thatch was by the door when he said: ''Are you coming yet or not?'' He forgot the brownies already. Not that Izo had the appetite to eat them now. The nerves felt dreadful.

He reluctantly followed the other out muttering he'd have a good talk with Thatch and Marco later, because he was so not going to forget what they just did.

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 **Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

 **Please leave a review with feedback, even if it's a tiny detail you liked, please say it ^^ I love receiving them, it doesn't matter what it says, as long as it's respectful.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I publish the edited ones on AO3, so this version might contain a few typos. My apologies in advance. I am posting these here for those who are still interested. (thank you for the reviews and fav's!)**

* * *

''I want to let everyone here know that I am grateful. This newly formed sixteenth Division shows just how big and open our family is,'' Izo started. Since more and more members joined lately Oyaji decided to form yet another Division. ''From this day onward, I hope I can walk among you all and show the other Divisions we are just as capable as them. To do that, I ask for your approval to lead the sixteenth.''

When a loud cheer from the crowd burst out Izo smiled and relaxed. His nerves were lessening and he slowly started to accept this change. ''Thank you,'' he lastly said.

Marco and Thatch bumped him against his shoulders to show they were proud of their brother. Then Thatch stepped forward facing both his own Division and Izo's and held up one of his twin swords. ''Let's chase these pirates away who dare to try and claim our land! Set sail!''

After a loud ''aye, Commander!'' everyone set to work.

''Good job, yoi,'' Marco complimented. ''Do you want me to accompany you both to the island?''

''Nope!'' Thatch immediately replied before Izo could say anything himself. ''We can handle this on our own, right Izo?''

Nodding because his throat felt thick he crossed his arms in his sleeves. The nerves managed to come back..

''And man, that was a bit sentimental,'' Thatch chuckled. ''With a bit of practice you'll do it perfectly. It's a matter of rousing them.''

Marco sighed. ''He did fine, yoi.''

''He did! He did! I meant it as something to look forward to. You're going to love it, Izo!'' How did he manage to be so happy all the time? Not that he minded, he probably needed someone as cheerful as Thatch around him.

''Well then, I'm going back to Moby Dick. Give them a good beating for me.'' His arms transformed into the beautiful blue fire from his Phoenix devil fruit and fled off to the other ship.

''Thatch..'' Izo called out wanting to make something clear. ''Who are these pirates? If it's not that hard, as you said earlier, then why do two Divisions have to go?'' He did understand part of it, his Division was still newly formed, but if there were only a few pirates then weren't two Divisions a bit much?

Thatch replied while looking around on the deck. ''They seem to be quite strong from what we heard from the villagers who called us. They told us it was a small crew, but a seemingly strong one. They couldn't identify the crew however so Oyaji didn't want to take any risks and sent us both out. But hey, it's good practice! Couldn't have it better on your first day right?'' He elbowed Izo gently.

''I guess so..'' Izo replied with a soft voice after an electric spark shot through his arm because of Thatch. He watched their Divisions work together as if it was their second nature which again showed how much of a 'family' this crew actually was. His chest burnt with warmth from pride. Maybe it wouldn't be so terrifying to be a commander as he currently thought it was. Perhaps he could start a few conversations with some of his Division members to get to know them better. They were his brethren after all.

The thing was, there were several ships for the Whitebeard pirates and a few Divisions always teamed up to handle one ship. Oyaji was always with the first few Divisions. He often visited the other ones too, but that proved the first Division, for example, wasn't as close to Izo's Division as it was with Jozu's third Division. They had a gigantic crew really, but the atmosphere was always pleasant and no one minded this system.

Izo and Thatch patrolled on the ship, giving a helping hand here and there and giving out orders when needed. Izo's Division responded positively, either with a smile or in deep concentration, but never negative. They gave Izo the chance to prove himself as a commander and gladly helped him along the way.

He started to feel at ease during the journey to one of Oyaji's islands nearby. Fifteen minutes before arrival Thatch and Izo went through the last preparations as they explained the plan to the crewmates.

Thatch would stay on the ship with his Division and provide back up when needed. With other words, the main job, defeating the pirates who had claimed the village in question, fell on Izo's shoulders. He would enter the village with his Division and make sure the villagers were safe. Once that was done, the fight would start, considering the pirates hadn't fled by that time or been defeated already. That was the plan they came up with. Simple, but effective according one of the crewmates who provided feedback about the strategies the Whitebeard pirates used. If they had chosen for a complicated and detailed plan, then it was sure to fail since they didn't know the exact situation on the island.

The island was in sight. It was a plain land, a small one at that, with not much sightseeing to do. It didn't stand out much, which gave the island the advantage of often being ignored by other ships and islands. However, it did also give them a disadvantage at the same time. If a pirate crew had claimed the land, other than Oyaji, then those pirates could easily do with it whatever they wanted, since other islands easily ignored this one.

Whitebeard offered them his protection and now it was the time for Izo to prove himself as the newly formed Division. He took a deep breath as he stared at the nearing land with his Division standing by behind him. He was definitely going to show his brethren he could lead them and fight alongside them at the same time. He was the one who would keep up the morale and rouse the crewmates when needed.

He was quite confident during battles, he loved it after all. It gave him a rush and opponents with potential made him excited, wanting to test his own abilities against theirs. He was almost the opposite amongst his brothers however. As was shown earlier, he proved to be quite insecure when it came to big decisions such as leading people. He could be quite temperamental if he wanted to, which made it 'fun' for his brothers to taunt and tease him all the time.

The ship came to a halt in the small harbor and luckily there were no enemy ships nearby. Izo jumped off the railing holding up his gun for his brethren as a sign. With a shout they jumped after him on the stone ground. His Division wasn't big, which came in handy now. Considering what their enemies had planned he would have some time to observe their surroundings first. After some cheering from Thatch's Division they set off into the village.

The others had their weapons in their hands. Everyone stayed quiet as they entered the empty village. No pedestrians or running children, no shopping mothers or working fathers. There was simply no one present.

Izo nodded to his brethren and everyone split up in five groups. Izo continued walking forward with five other brethren. Releasing his observational Haki he sensed the villagers inside their homes. They were probably afraid, he guessed, which was understandable, but it still made him curious as to what the case was here.

''Report the current situation to Thatch,'' he ordered softly to the man next to him. His name was Athan and he was still pretty young. He only joined a month ago but was doing splendidly already according Marco. He pointed out some crewmates earlier after he introduced Izo to his Division who could be of help in assisting Izo leading it. He was glad Marco did this because it gave him something to start with.

''Aye,'' Athan responded and dialed the number with his Snail Phone. After having explained the situation Thatch let out a thoughtful hum.

''They could be holding them hostage. Call me immediately as soon as something happens,'' said Thatch. ''It might help you to find the Mayor. If they are holding the villagers hostage then they would definitely use the Mayor one way or another. Go find the townhouse at the end of the village, Izo.''

Agreeing they continued forward until the last big house came into sight. Arriving at the house they found the door already open. A man in tattered clothes came darting out with a panicked expression. ''Are you the Whitebeard pirates?'' He asked with a hoarse voice. ''I am so sorry! I am so sorry!'' He started holding Izo by the purple collar of his kimono. ''I am so sorry!'' He repeated over and over again.

''What is it, old man? What happened? Please try to calm down,'' Izo offered holding the man by his shoulders. ''We are the Whitebeard pirates. We're here to get rid of the pirates. Where are they?'' Perhaps he was over asking the man at the moment since he looked very distressed.

''No, no! No, I am sorry! The pirates have already been dealt with! They were defeated just an hour ago!''

Confused, Izo shared a glance with Athan who quickly notified Thatch. The others stood in a circle, guarding Izo and observing the surroundings. ''What do you mean, old man? Who defeated them?''

''I am so sorry!'' He apologized again.

''No, it's alright. It's better that way right? Did another pirate crew defeat them?'' He asked gently.

The man shook his head miserably as his hands started shaking. ''I tried to stop them, I really did, but..-'' Izo would never know what he wanted to explain to him, because they were surrounded by many Marines holding out their guns. Some of the other groups had been captured and since Thatch was still on the phone Athan could quickly inform him. Thatch promised back up immediately while Izo's mind got fuzzy.

What should he do now? They couldn't fight them all. He needed more men for that, not to mention, judging by the clothes, there was a Vice-Admiral of the Navy Headquarters approaching them.

''We need to hold out for five minutes until Thatch will be here,'' Athan offered hiding his Snail Phone and holding out his sword.

''We can do it, commander!'' The one to his right said.

Izo took a deep breath to ease his nerves as he quickly made a count. ''There are approximately about hundred and fifty soldiers plus the Vice-Admiral. He will be the one who needs to be defeated first, so leave him to me. That leaves each of you thirty soldiers to defeat,'' he calculated. ''I'll be counting on you all. Give a shout if you're in big trouble,'' he spoke quickly and swiftly not hard enough for the enemy to hear them.

The old man from earlier walked backwards with a sorry expression. _He was probably forced into this_ , Izo thought. It was a trap, and a smart one he hadn't considered. On second thought, it seemed quite obvious this would be a trap, but since they had such good contact with the islands Oyaji owned, they didn't immediately include possible traps from the Government either.

But then why would the Government lay this trap for them? And with so few forces? It seemed odd to Izo, but he couldn't figure out a reason as to what their motive was. Oyaji was the strongest pirate after all. It would be rather stupid to try and start a war against Whitebeard, right?

The Vice-Admiral stopped a few paces in front of Izo. ''Fan Wielder!'' He addressed the commander. ''Surrender yourself now and prevent bloodshed. We have your crewmates in our custody and we will use them against you in case you choose to fight after all,'' he spoke loud and clear and stood upright with his hand on his yielded sword.

''What is your motive, Vice-Admiral?'' Izo asked. Better to keep them talking in that case right? ''You do realize our father Whitebeard himself won't be happy in case anything happens to us, do you?'' He didn't drop his gun nor did he cower before the man. To show intimidation would be his own defeat. Izo stood with a straight back, his chin raised high and one single strand of hair hanging loosely.

''I do. We do not owe you an explanation as to why I am arresting you,'' he replied instantly.

''Is it only me you want?'' Realizing what the commander was doing Athan and the one to his right turned their heads to him.

''Don't do it, commander!'' Athan hissed.

''Don't worry,'' He whispered reassuringly. Izo wasn't planning on giving in so easily.

''If you surrender yourself, your crewmates will be allowed to escape.'' His voice was still stern, but less cold than earlier. ''What will it be, Fan Wielder?'' That nickname was given to him by the Government itself. Izo found it ironic how much it actually applied to him.

''Are you planning on starting a war?'' He asked to stall further time. _Four more minutes.._ he thought.

Before the Vice-Admiral could respond several cheers were heard from a distance. They neared quickly and when they were close enough, Izo recognized them as his own Division members. There were with about fifteen members and they attacked the nearest group of Marines.

Izo found himself troubled, but he couldn't let this momentum pass since the Vice-Admiral looked surprised. He hadn't expected more Division members, did he? The marines probably thought they had caught everyone.

''Attack!'' Izo ordered and darted forward at the same time the others shot forward into the crowd of the Marines. Loading his guns he feigned a kick with his leg as he avoided the sword the Vice-Admiral swung at him. Ending up behind the man's back, a few paces apart from him he fired his first shot.

As expected, since it was a Vice-Admiral after all, the shot missed and the man approached Izo once more. Blocking the next slash with one of his guns he quickly added a layer of his Armament Haki to make sure it didn't break so soon. He had only finished his training about a year ago so he was still behind in strength and ability compared to the other commanders.

The Vice-Admiral struggled against the block and let go. Swinging his sword from the right Izo took a risk and fired his right gun while blocking the sword with his left. This time he was less lucky and received a wound on his arm. His sleeve was quickly drenched in his own blood. Luckily it didn't hurt just yet. It only stung slightly. As he had fired his right gun earlier he managed to make the man shoot sideward leaving him open for Izo's gunfire.

As Izo wanted to fire another shot with both his guns this time the man made an unexpected move and jumped. Reaching down with his sword Izo had his full concentration on blocking once more, when something hit him in the back on his head and half on his neck. The hit was hard and made Izo dizzy and disoriented. He couldn't give in so easily yet however and shot once more, this time landing a successful hit. The arm of the Vice-Admiral was hit by his shot but he hit Izo with the back of his sword. Barely managing to dodge it he had no time to check on the other person that managed to hit him, but he received yet another blow on his head.

After a loud: ''Commander! Thatch is he-'' he fell unconscious, not knowing what would happen to this battle.


	3. Chapter 3

He woke up groaning because of his splitting headache. Momentarily disoriented because he had clearly been unconscious he tried to remember everything that happened earlier. They had been fighting the Marines who had laid a trap for some odd reason and someone knocked Izo unconscious while he was fighting the Vice-Admiral.

Slowly opening his eyes he found the room filled with an orange light. Outside the window Izo could see the sun going down, causing the beautiful light filling the room. He was lying in his own bed, or rather, his new bedroom that was assigned to him since he accepted Marco's offer. His clothes lay carefully folded in a few boxes placed before the closet. His make-up kit was placed on the desk beneath the window.

Somebody had already started moving his stuff, it seemed. When Izo moved slightly he noticed his left hand felt warm. He was holding _someone's_ hand. Looking at it, he recognized the bigger hand immediately. His eyes moved upwards meeting the familiar pompadour who rested on his other arm and seemed to be asleep as Izo also noticed the regular movement of his back going up and down.

It was the last thing he expected from Thatch, to say the least. The hand felt familiar since they spent a great deal of time ever since Izo first joined the crew as a fifteen year old. He remembered Thatch pulling him by holding his hand so often because Izo had been shy when he was still young. He was practically afraid of everything back then, while Thatch was always confident and easy to please.

Nevertheless, he was still taken aback by the touch. A warm feeling in his chest erupted which he normally associated with being nervous, but this was slightly different. He felt it more often around Thatch, and only Thatch, but thought nothing of it, or rather, tried to ignore it.

He almost wanted to call out to him but thought it was better not to wake him. How long had it been since the fight? Perhaps Thatch was still tired, causing him to fall asleep?

The door opened softly and the boy called Athan, who had been a great help during their first job as the sixteenth Division, entered. ''Commander!'' He called out happily.

''Shjjt..'' Izo hushed softly and a corner of his lip curled upwards. ''How long has it been since that fight?'' He wanted to know now, he couldn't really wait with asking since he was always curious.

''Two hours ago. We joined up with Oyaji. How are you? I came to check on you and inform you in case you were awake,'' he explained. Athan had short blond hair that would turn into light curls if he let it grow out, Izo noticed. His grey eyes focused on Izo he came to stand next to the bed.

He had been unconscious for only two hours luckily. ''What happened after I..'' He didn't really need to finish it since it was quite obvious what he meant.

Athan nodded. ''Thatch beat the Vice-Admiral, and not gently either, we won the fight and it seemed they did arrest the other pirate crew after those pirates beat up the Mayor and claimed the land even though it is protected by Oyaji,'' he replied. ''Someone from Thatch's Division made some plans and decisions with some villagers after the fight so everyone could settle down again.''

''And Thatch? Shouldn't he do that?'' Izo asked.

''Well, yeah.. But he wanted to make sure you were safe first. He carried you onto the ship and made sure you received treatment, although, now I think about it, only the cut on your arm needed proper treatment. The hit on your head didn't cause a concussion, or at least not a long lasting one according the doctor.''

Izo vaguely listened but his mind occupied him with the thought of Thatch carrying him inside. He found it rather embarrassing. ''I failed you all on my very first job,'' he muttered, more to himself than Athan. His grip on Thatch's hand tightened slightly.

''Don't be so hard on yourself, Commander!'' Athan defended. ''Who could have known the Vice-Admiral would play such a dirty trick, and in my opinion, if I may, Thatch was able to defeat him so quickly because you managed to shoot his arm! Otherwise we'd have been in a much harder situation. You did well splitting us all up because some groups managed to fool the Marines having given us an advantage to escape the hostage situation. If anything, you did great!'' Izo was lost for words. The boy acted out of pure honesty and the gleam in his eyes made him remember the times he looked that way at Marco, who taught Izo most of what he knew now, this day.

''You take the words out of my mouth, Athan.'' Thatch raised his head and stretched his arms, letting go of Izo's hand and not commenting or reacting physically to that at all. ''Izo did great indeed and he will improve a lot from now on.''

''I shouldn't have allowed my focus to be on the Vice-Admiral only! If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have taken that hit on my head!'' Izo burst out, not wanting to accept the compliments too easily.

''As Athan said, don't be so hard on yourself, man. You are quickly increasing your strength. You know your abilities now. The only thing that rests you is to gain experience as a commander. After a few months you'll be able to do a perfect job, if such thing exists at all,'' Thatch said.

 _But you were perfect, you always are_ , Izo thought but didn't speak the words. He didn't reply to that. What was he supposed to say still after all? He knew he was always worrying too much, since he was a perfectionist himself. He wanted everything to go perfect, without any flaws.

''Anyway, once you feel good enough to get up, then we'll be having a small banquet on the deck. Oyaji wants to speak with you.'' Athan stood up and bowed his head slightly.

Izo looked worried at Thatch, dreading the reason why Oyaji requested a conversation. ''Don't worry about it. He hasn't had the chance to talk to you about the entire commander business yet. He doesn't have a reason to scold you, okay?'' He grinned and because of that, Izo couldn't help but smile back, a small one, but a smile nevertheless. ''He's cheering up!'' Thatch called out to no one in particular. ''I'm glad you're happy again. How are you now though?''

Izo switched to his side ignoring the protests his brain made and the stinging feeling in his arm. ''Fine, I guess. It could have been worse.'' Izo was wondering whether he should ask Thatch about him holding his hand, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to do it. Perhaps it was better to leave that subject for what it was.. ''Hey,'' Izo said, ''do you have some time tonight to train? Or you know.. have a match?'' He wanted to find out just how strong he really was. Whether he was comparable with the other commanders at all. Perhaps he could learn one thing or two while sparring with Thatch. Guns against twin-blades. Didn't that sound like an interesting combination? Izo knew swordsmen weren't the best match up for him since it was always tricky to find the right time to shoot them, so maybe he could improve his skills by doing this.

Thatch tilted his head slightly sideways as his brows slightly furrowed, probably knowing why Izo wanted to do this, but he didn't speak it out loud. Instead, he nodded. ''Alright, nine pm downstairs? After the banquet of course.''

He meant the training facility they had on the ship. Since Moby Dick was so huge there was enough room for training rooms, a library and other kinds of rooms. ''Alright,'' he replied softly.

''Take a good rest now though. I know you are pretending to be alright. I'll bring you something to eat. Make sure you finish everything, okay?'' Thatch bumped his shoulder and after giving him a wicked grin he left the room nonchalantly.

Izo took a nap and after he woke up by the smell of soup he finished everything as Thatch had told him to do. He was a strict chef alright, he didn't take it lightly when you didn't finish the food he prepared for you. Izo hesitated whether he should take a shower or wait until after the training. He really felt like taking one and was sure it would make his sore body relax a little. He also knew however he wouldn't be able to have peace in his mind until he had a good work out.

Deciding to go for a shower after all he turned on the warm water while wearing a shower cap to keep his hair dry. The little bits of makeup he still had on his face washed off. After he turned off the water he let out a deep sigh that felt very satisfying. He walked out of the wooden shower cubicle after having put on his underwear and a towel draped around his head.

He heard some humming coming from another shower cubicle which made Izo smile lightly. Vista liked singing in the showers, especially when he was alone. ''Oh, someone there?'' He called out over the sound of the running water.

''It's me, Izo,'' he replied while dressing himself in a kimono. He thought it was best to attend the banquet in proper clothing. He'd worry about the training clothes after that.

''Congratulations on your first job, Izo! You did better than most of us on our first battles.'' He started laughing out loud. Well, wasn't that something he still didn't know?

''How did yours go then?'' He asked curious to what exactly the other meant by himself having done it better than others.

''I was unconscious for three days after mine. I underestimated my opponent too much,'' he replied amused. ''Oyaji had to set sail towards the island I was at and had to free us all, including defeating the enemy. I'd say yours went a lot better, don't you think?'' Izo stayed quiet, which Vista took as a sign he could continue talking. ''I felt so embarrassed after that. I suddenly wanted to do everything myself as if that proved anything. How young and foolish I was,'' he sighed. ''We all understand the way you might feel right now, Izo. Don't blame yourself. You will learn soon enough, don't worry!'' Vista had a way with words, since Izo felt less tense and more at ease now.

''Th-Thank you, Vista.'' He stuttered cursing himself for messing up his words. He wasn't sure whether he heard him, he could only assume so. After stating he was done and would see Vista at the banquet he left and went upstairs, on the deck where it was filled with his brethren en Oyaji sitting in his usual chair and the nurses who never stopped worrying about his health. He didn't blame them, he and the other brothers worried about him all the time too.

Seeing all that was going on and the all the delicacies Thatch prepared for this evening he decided it was okay to enjoy himself, even if it was only a little, while promising himself he would quickly learn the ways of being a commander.


	4. Chapter 4

Izo took small sips from his sake as he silently watched the others shouting, singing and telling jokes or make bad puns to impress the others while they were drunk. From time to time someone patted Izo on the shoulder to congratulate him or have a small talk with him.

''Let's hope the Sea Goddess will grant you a fortunate sailing from now on.'' Vista came standing next to him as he twisted his moustache around his finger while holding a glass of wine in his other hand. ''Oyaji is calling for you, Izo,'' he continued.

Izo smiled graciously at his older brother while finishing his small cup of sake. ''Let's hope so,'' he replied. He strolled towards the big chair Oyaji always sat in when he wasn't asleep or resting.

Izo had always admired Oyaji a lot. He and Marco were the ones who taught him everything, raised him, gave him a childhood. Without them he would have always been a lost boy who didn't know anything about this world.

Oyaji had a big moustache covering his face and many wrinkles marking his old age. A small tube that was connected from his nose to the oxygen appliance was clearly visible. Without it, he got tired more easily because he needed assistance to receive oxygen. And that was only one thing of all he needed to extend his life as much as possible. It was sad really, but it also made Izo proud, because no matter his age, Whitebeard didn't bow for anyone, didn't give up and would always do anything to protect his family.

Izo stopped in front of the big chair and smiled looking up at his father. ''Oyaji,'' he addressed him with a slight respectful bow of his head.

''My son,'' Oyaji greeted, ''how are you feeling?''

Izo averted his eyes for a moment before looking back. ''Embarrassed mostly. Other than that, I feel good, I guess.''

Oyaji sighed and leaned forward. ''You know there is no need to feel like that, Izo. Do you want me to tell you about Marco's first job?'' An amused grin spread over his lips.

Izo couldn't help but allow a smile to escape his lips when a sudden: ''There is no need for that!'' emerged from the crowd. It was Marco's voice so he had heard what Oyaji said.

''You have your answer, Oyaji,'' Izo replied equally amused.

''Alright then. But you do understand what I mean, I hope?'' He took a long draught from his rum.

Izo nodded. ''I promise I will do better in the future, Oyaji. And I'll get stronger so I can lead my division properly.'' He was always amazed with how strong the other commanders were. A bit jealous even. Even though he had developed his own fighting style, it still paled compared to the others in his opinion.

''So you didn't get my point after all.'' He smiled again, but not in an amused manner this time. It was a smile full of fatherly love but it only made Izo look down in guilt. How else was he going to deal with this first failure of his? ''You did well. That's all you need to understand. Get stronger if you must, but please Izo. Don't be a fool and get ahead of yourself. You are doing fine,'' he continued soft enough so only Izo could hear what he said.

Izo nodded, knowing he wouldn't win these kind of discussions. His family would tell him a hundred times he did well enough until he would believe it himself. It was best to keep it this way and simply agree. ''Why did the Marines pull such a stunt? It wasn't very smart on their part,'' he asked still wondering about their true purpose.

''Do you have an idea why they did this, Izo?'' Oyaji asked thoughtfully.

''No.. But you do, right?''

''Hm..'' he hummed. ''I think they wanted to use those pirates as a cover. I'd think you were killed by pirates without knowing it was the Government who held you captive meanwhile.''

Izo leaned against the armchair thinking about it. It seemed very logical indeed. It could've worked hadn't his remaining division members showed up all of the sudden and Thatch finishing the battle. There was still one thing that didn't sit right with him however. ''Then why did they send only one battleship? It was rather foolish against two divisions of the Whitebeard pirates.''

''Indeed it is,'' he replied. ''But what if they hadn't counted on two divisions? And your division members who managed to avoid getting caught were quite the surprise for the Marines too. They probably thought only one division would be sent to deal with the pirates, which I would have indeed done had you been a commander for a longer period of time.''

''It's the most likely theory..'' Izo muttered still in thought.

''Yes,'' said Oyaji. ''Anything else that troubles your mind, son?'' Oyaji had this piercing look as if he knew exactly what was going through your mind, but now Izo's questions had been answered so he looked up at him and shook his head. ''Then I have a question for you. Do you mind if I let you accompany Thatch more often from now on? You two have always been a splendid team and were always in each others' presence when you were still kids, so I thought it would do you good to team up with him this time too.''

See? He knew exactly all that was going on within the family. Izo nodded, not particularly minding it since it was true, but a funny feeling erupted in his stomach at the mention of Thatch' name which he liked less.

''And Izo?''

''Yes, Oyaji?'' Izo asked while standing up properly. He guessed the conversation was finished so he got ready to leave. It was almost time for the training after all.

''Don't worry too much. I know you like doing that a lot. Try to enjoy being a commander.'' With one more smile they shared Izo left and met Thatch on the way.

''And? What did he say?'' He carried a light blush on his cheeks which was probably because of the alcohol he drunk.

Izo shrugged. ''It was about earlier,'' he explained. ''And we're going on jobs together from now on.''

Thatch nodded slowly and then tilted his head to one side.

''Thatch?''

''Yeah?'' he replied amused.

''Are you drunk?'' He couldn't be serious now, could he?

''Nah.. Just a bit tipsy.'' He grinned as if that would make it 'okay'.

Izo crossed his arms. ''I don't believe you.''

Waving with his hand he started to pull Izo towards the doors to the inside of the ship. ''Pff, it will be fine! I can still fight. I can handle a lot more alcohol than this.'' He couldn't, but a drunk person would never admit such thing, would they?

''Oi, you two! Where are you going?'' Curiel called out.

''We'll be back in an hour!'' Izo immediately replied.

''Time for training!'' Thatch held up his fist happily.

Curiel laughed. ''Training? In the middle of a party in your honor, Izo?''

Thatch held his hands on his hips and pouted. ''We need to burn calories,'' he said with a terrible female voice. One of the nurses looked at him with an annoyed expression so Izo smacked him on the back of his head for her. Receiving a thankful nod from the nurse Thatch turned to pout at Izo. ''Really?''

''Really,'' was all that Izo replied and pulled Thatch by his sleeve inside.

Once in the hallway of the commanders' bedrooms, Izo turned to face Thatch. ''I'll see you in five. I need to change and you need to drink water and get ready yourself.''

Thatch smiled again. ''Aye.''

After five minutes Izo stood ready in the training room. He didn't have to wait long for Thatch to show up. He looked a lot more serious than he did earlier which was a relief. Maybe he wasn't that drunk after all.

''Alright.'' Thatch breathed while stretching his arms. ''How do you want to start? Sparring? I'm up for anything really.''

Izo bit his lip but decided to go for what he had in mind nevertheless. ''An all out match between you and me, with your twin swords and my guns. I'll use the ones that don't leave damage behind, of course.'' Izo had acquired these special bullets on an island where they made these. Izo used them for training so they wouldn't hurt anyone while practicing.

Thatch nodded and walked over to the shelf where dull swords were ready to be used. Choosing two swords and testing them in his hands he cracked his neck, which was a pet peeve of Izo. He never liked it when people cracked their knuckles or neck. The sound always irritated him.

Sighing he walked over to a wooden shelf attached to the wall and took the two guns he always used for practice. Checking the bullets inside he hummed softly as they both got ready to face each other.

There hung a calm atmosphere in the room as they were so used to training together for many years now. Several brothers taught them different techniques and basics of fighting, of surviving each and every day they spent on the ship, until Thatch got his own Division while Izo was still afraid to leave the safety of being under Marco's wing.

''Wanna bet?'' Thatch asked walking back to the middle of the training field.

''Izo rested his left gun on his shoulder while tilting his head slightly sideways. ''Bet on what exactly?''

Grinning mischievously, Thatch replied. ''If I win, you have to admit you like my pompadour.''

''What?'' Izo blurted out barely holding back his laughter. ''How is that a valid bet? Is that all? Even if I just tell everyone I like it, they know otherwise.''

''You do like it. You are just too stubborn to admit it. There's a difference. The others know that. There is no fooling your family, mate.'' His grin grew wider, clearly he was amused and felt triumphant.

''And what if I win?'' Izo asked, not seeing how could win this argument.

''Your choice, I guess.'' Thatch shrugged.

A small smile appeared on his face when he knew what he would like. It was something Thatch wouldn't be fond of, after all. ''You'll let me put makeup on your face.''

''Never mind this bet. We can train without.'' Izo's lips pulled taut which was enough for Thatch to sigh desperately. ''Fine. You have a deal. Now let's get started. I will win for sure, so there's no need for you to imagine my face with makeup on now, bro.'' Thatch commented knowing Izo all too well.

Izo let out a laugh before holding out his guns. ''Come at me, hon,'' he invited soothingly.

Thatch's eyes turned sharp while Izo's analyzed his movements carefully. It felt like a long time passed while they were only a few seconds before Thatch darted forward swinging both his swords at him.

As the swords connected with Izo's gun they made a clashing sound and soon they were engaged in a heated battle. Izo firing and blocking with his weapons as Thatch almost seemed to dance with his swords. The sound it made was like music to their ears.

Battle was something that gave Izo a rush he couldn't quite explain. Others would refer to it as making them feel _alive_ , while others stopped thinking and fought blindly, not realizing just what happened during the battle until afterwards.

Izo was a mix of both perhaps. His mind was filled with only how to defeat the opponent while adrenaline surged through his body. There was one other part that made Izo love fighting so much. Sometimes on rare occasions you had an opponent that synchronized with you, as to speak. You read each others' movements perfectly, brought out the best in each other and fought until both were exhausted.

Thatch was this kind of opponent. It was thanks to him Izo managed to get stronger this quick. Thatch always brought out the full hundred percent in him. He gave him that one extra push in the back he needed.

He had no idea how long they had been fighting until the fight ended with Thatch straddling Izo. Surprised, his back connected with the ground none too gently as Thatch held one sword against his throat, barely touching him while his other hand held Izo's over his head on the ground. His knees touched Izo's hips while Izo could feel Thatch's warm and quick breath on his skin as their faces were close to each other.

His eyes followed the scar around Thatch's right eye and were captured by his brown eyes. Izo's breath was quick because of the fight and because this rather awkward situation made him nervous. Gulping, Izo tried to speak but Thatch spared him the effort. ''Want to admit to everyone you like my hair now? The party is still ongoing, you know..'' He chuckled and his breath still held a faint smell of alcohol.

His cheeks flushed and hopefully it would be passed as mere excitement from the battle only, which at least Izo hoped was the case. Thatch however, took it differently. ''Oh, don't worry. It won't be _that_ embarrassing. They will tease you about it for about two months and then probably get bored with it is all.''

Letting out a deep breath Izo struggled against his grip but Thatch only tightened his hand around his own as he put away the sword. Resting the now free hand on his shoulder, tightly, he forced Izo to stay down until he would give in. ''Fine. Let's do it now then. But mind you, I will beat you the next time.''

''Ah, you want a rematch?'' Thatch chuckled.

Izo looked away for a moment after pursing his lips. Looking back he let out a reluctant small growl. Thatch let go of him and stood up. Holding out his hand Izo took it and allowed him to pull him up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tip: The Fan Wielder is a good read for those interested to read more about Izo's past. ^^ (Very short drabble)**

* * *

 _One more line_.. he thought as he applied the black eyeliner to his left eye. He traced the line with an eye pencil first and then used the liquid eyeliner to make a perfect line just above his eyelashes. Proud, he admired himself in the mirror. He was getting better and better with this. The nurses were right when they advised him to use an eye pencil first. He also tried using a spoon to make a bigger line, but he liked it casual better.

Izo heard someone knocking on the door and a soft: ''Can I come in, yoi?'' was heard which he recognized as Marco's voice. Without waiting for an answer the phoenix opened the door and closed it behind him. He rested one hand on his hip and casually stood by the door as he regarded Izo. ''So? How did you like the party?''

Guiltily, because he had been spending most of the time with Thatch in the training facility he continued admiring himself in the mirror while biting his lower lip. ''I'm sorry I wasn't there the entire time, brother.. I really had to lose myself in training for once..'' he tried explaining.

Marco chuckled as small wrinkles appeared besides his eyes as they always did when he laughed. ''I know you had to, I'm sorry for introducing the topic this way, yoi. Do you still feel miserable about your first job as a commander?''

He put down the lipstick he was about to put on and turned slightly in his chair to face the older brother. ''Less, especially after pops said you failed miserably yourself on your first one. What did you do anyway?'' Of course he was curious. The phoenix himself failing a job? That was definitely worth finding out.

''Never mind that,'' Marco cut off shortly. ''Thatch says you want to get stronger, is that true?''

Izo sighed. ''It is true. Look at you all. You are so amazing and all I can do is shoot guns. It seems a little pathetic, is all.''

''Izo..''

''What?''

''Look at yourself,'' Marco sighed.

''I look at myself at least three times a day in the mirror, thank you very much. I appreciate my own looks.'' Cocking an eyebrow he crossed his arms offended.

''You know what I mean,yoi.'' Marco cocked his own eyebrow, much higher than Izo's of course. ''Once you set foot on land you are the most confident, elegant and smart person one could fight or interact with, but on Moby? At home? You suddenly lose all that.''

''Well.. yeah..'' he replied feeling embarrassed for lacking better words to say. ''That is because this _is_ home, Marco.. I don't have to put on a mask, cancel out my emotions or watch my tongue. I can be myself.'' It was sad, truly, but still the truth.

''By being so insecure about yourself? Listen, you _are_ strong enough, yoi. You'll get much stronger once you gain experience. How many times do I have to repeat that?''

A pout was beginning to form on Izo's lips as he wanted to curse himself now for not finding any words at all.

Marco closed his eyes for a moment as if in thought and when he opened them he spoke up once more. ''When you're ready your Division's shift starts for the watch.'' He got ready to leave, but Izo stopped him.

''Wait. I need to tell you something.. It's about yesterday evening..''

''The party?'' Marco stopped and after a moment of hesitation he took a chair and sat besides Izo.

Izo played with his sleeve not sure how to say it properly. It was something that had been bothering him the entire night. He had wanted to ignore it and pass it off as simple curiosity for the past years, but he simply couldn't deny it any longer. The only person he could think off to talk to about it was Marco.

''Well, yes.. But not exactly.. It was during the training Thatch and I did.. We fought and he won and ended it by straddling me and such..'' He was starting to ramble, he knew, but he had to say something hoping Marco would understand without Izo having to spell it out word for word.

''Yes, what happened?'' Marco asked. His eyes seemed to be searching, as if trying to figure out what Izo was trying to tell him.

''I'm not sure how to say it, Marco..'' It was pathetic, really.

''What is it, Izo?'' Marco urged.

A tightening feeling erupted in Izo's chest as he opened his mouth but closed it again. Not being able to stand it, he stood up and paced around the room, ending up at the small round window with the sight of the calm see.

Cursing himself, he closed his eyes and blurted it out, not wanting to keep this up any longer. ''I think I have feelings for Thatch.'' There. He said it. But of course, he couldn't bear the embarrassment he now felt. ''Oh, it's terrible, Marco! How am I supposed to live with that? Thatch would never return those feelings. He always talks about boobs..'' Izo had been annoyed several times lately whenever Thatch spoke of the women he spent the night with during the periods they docked on land.

Marco tilted his head to one side as a sigh escaped his lips. ''Is that it, yoi? You discovered this last night?''

''Yes.. why?''

Shaking his head, Marco stood up and approached Izo. ''Why is it so terrible to have feelings for Thatch, Izo? How do you know for sure he won't feel the same?''

''Because falling in love with a man is wrong.. That's why! All these years I've been trying to live by being myself and a man, not a woman because of my childhood.. This is wrong, Marco..'' Izo come up with a hundred reasons why he shouldn't have feelings for a man, but Marco could only shake his head.

''Look, I know you grew up with the idea that this is wrong. You've been chased and beaten daily for what that mistress did to you, but now you live here and I'm telling you, as family, that it is okay to be yourself. If this is you, Izo, then what is so wrong about it? You feel it right? Then that can't possibly be wrong, yoi.''

Just like all the Whitebeard brothers, Izo had been an outcast in his birth country himself. When he was five a mistress of a Geisha House took him in. He looked like a girl and her business was almost failing because of the war that went on. Izo was taught not to feel anything, not to think anything, and become a beautiful puppet for show. He had to learn how to wield fans in an artistic way and please the men of the country. He had to learn the finer details of the human interaction, play around with words, do his makeup and hair and being the best, or else the other women would beat him at it.

They got jealous however and started to spread rumors. Izo was one of the best and most promising apprenticed Geisha the country had seen in years. They told others he was a boy and was to bed a man instead of a woman, to be _owned_ by a man who would be willing to pay for him.

It was the most despicable thing one could do.

 _Forbidden love._

That was what it was called.

Izo had nothing, no parents, no family, not even the mistress was a nice person.

She was cold and ruled the house as if made of iron. She threw him out once the rumors were spread and hatred started to settle itself.

She had to save her business, and Izo had to leave. Back then, he thought it was for his own protection, because she threw him out before she would have to give him away to a man.

Her business was running well however as soon as Izo left, he later found out. She could care less about an orphan boy from the farmlands.

He spent his time on the streets in a filthy yukata that had rags in it because of all the countless times the commoners chased him away from their houses, beat him because he was the shame of the country and so forth.

He had nothing.

He was nothing.

Not until he met Thatch.

That was the person who showed him what life could be worth. Thatch had no one himself. His mother died because of his drunk father who had beaten her to death, and who then started to take out his anger on Thatch. He managed to run away and found passage to the neighboring country, the country Izo was being chased away from.

They found each other and ever since then Izo started to see a tiny flicker of light at the end of the tunnel again. When Whitebeard claimed the island and offered his protection, Izo and Thatch managed to join the crew. Izo had no idea what he was getting himself into, but later he knew it had saved his life.

They taught him what family was and Izo learned to be himself again, gained his own identity. Others saw him as a mere cross dresser, but Izo saw it as his own unique style. A combination of his past and his current self.

But he hadn't counted on having feelings for the first person he genuinely started to care for. Up until now he thought the feelings were entirely platonic. How could they be romantic after all?

But now he knew better.

He could punch himself for thinking it was wrong, because he was falling back to his child self who thought just like the commoners of his birth country. Or he could forget that and live his life.

''I am nowhere near ready to tell him this, Marco.. I know it won't work out so easily..'' he muttered not being able to stop staring at the sea. He knew Marco was right, he knew it, but it was still hard to accept.

''I'm not going to force you, Izo. Take as much time as you need, yoi,'' he replied with a soft voice. He squeezed in Izo's shoulder reassuringly before leaving.


	6. Chapter 6

_One year later:_

''THAATTCHHH!'' Izo yelled furious. He was taking a shower and when he put some shampoo on his hand he noticed it had a different color. It didn't smell like the flowers it usually did but like mint. He knew what it was instantly. Thatch mixed up a little water with toothpaste because shampoo was more fluid than toothpaste usually was. He probably did it to make it look like shampoo. So now Izo was yelling from the shower, butt naked and wet as he already made a plan to make Thatch pay him at least ten new shampoo bottles.

Quickly finishing his morning routine in only ten minutes he stepped out of the commanders' quarters and went to the kitchens where Thatch was most likely preparing breakfast.

Walking into the already full canteen he stopped in front of the open frame where one could order their food. There, he threw the bottle as hard as possible at the pompadour that emerged among the crewmembers in the kitchens.

It hit and an ''Oww!'' was heard. Letting out a deep sigh of relief Izo took the plate one of the members handed to him. He took a seat at the commanders' table while greeting his brothers casually.

None of them were surprised with what just happened. This was a daily thing, really. Ever since Izo became commander he spent much more time with Thatch. That included playing pranks on Izo all the time. Oh and bets.

Thatch loved bets.

Today they had another, because Izo remembered the vow he made one year ago to win the next time for sure. Now was the time he was going to win. Izo told Thatch the loser had to reveal their biggest secret. It was a cruel one, but Izo loved cruel. He wanted to teach his brother a lesson.

Izo was accustomed to the life of a commander by now. He got much stronger and his brothers and father were right. He learned through experience and even started to enjoy it. This was because he now got to spend a lot more time with the other brothers too. Every crewmember was a son of Whitebeard, but there were so many Division members you were bound to know one better than the other. The commanders knew each other very well and spent a lot of time together. Izo was a crewmember ever since he was fifteen and since he hung around Marco a lot he was already considered a dear brother among the commanders.

Now it was as if he only found his right place among the crew and that was him being a commander.

Taking small sips from his tea he woke up from his train of thoughts when Curiel mentioned his name. ''Izo, who are the unlucky ones this time?''

''Whitey Bay. She thinks she can challenge Oyaji. With other words, the usual.'' Izo replied with a small smile.

''A woman?'' Fossa looked up surprised.

Rolling his eyes, Izo put down his empty cup. ''Yes, a woman. And a fairly strong one at that. She came from North Blue, it seems.''

''I didn't mean it that way,'' Fossa defended himself. ''It's just unusual to see a woman being a pirate captain. Not many dare to take that role in the New World.''

It was true what he said in many ways. Only recently, the last few years, more women started to lead a pirate life. Oyaji often told them there used to barely be any women sailing the seas. They were appearing more and more now however. Izo always thought that was a good change. He used to think women were supposed to be protected because of the way he grew up in his birth country, but the nurses showed him the truth, alright. No one in the crew dared to mess with them.

Oyaji didn't really take in any daughters as fighters since he was a very traditional pirate from Roger's era.

''True enough, but I think two Divisions are definitely needed for this one.'' Izo took his small bowl with rice and used the chopsticks to eat it.

''You're having that challenge, right?!'' Haruta then asked excitedly. ''What is it about this time?''

Yeah, Izo and Thatch might have bragged a little about it..

''The one who beats most wins.''

''And ? What is the price? Or what does the loser have to do?'' Haruta continued asking leaning over the table for no reason, or purely out of excitement.

Izo sighed and smiled. ''A secret~ I'm not telling you.'' Thatch and Izo did have _some_ pride. Izo may have demanded the biggest secret to be told, but he would never tell anyone else in case Thatch lost and told him. Which would happen for sure.

A grain of rice got stuck in his throat when someone patted him none too gently on the back. ''You ready? It's time to go. Whitey Bay entered Oyaji's territory,'' Thatch greeted with a huge grin.

After coughing several times and gladly having gulped down a glass of water which was offered by Marco, Izo stood up, looked angrily at Thatch, still not having forgiven him for the shampoo and marched towards the door. ''Let's go then! What are you waiting for?!'' He shouted over his shoulder with his arms crossed in his long sleeves.

Their Division members stood up to get one of the smaller Moby ships ready. Thatch followed Izo outside, pouting. ''Still angry?'' he muttered softly enough only for Izo to hear. He wasn't being serious of course. In fact, Thatch enjoyed these kind of things too much.

''Still angry,'' he replied accepting the two familiar guns he was handed by Athan.

''Oh wait,'' Thatch said as he stood in front of Izo. ''There's a bit of.. th-there..'' He pointed at Izo's face, hesitantly.

''What?'' Izo asked confused. ''What's wrong?''

''Right there, on your cheek. Oh! I think it's the toothpaste!'' He suddenly burst in laughter finding himself very funny.

It wasn't funny to Izo. Smacking him with his gun on his chest Izo jumped onto the other ship with flushed cheeks. ''Everyone ready?'' He shouted. Izo had a rather deep voice that worked well with giving out orders to his Division. He could easily make sure everyone heard him properly and draw their attention to him without having to really do anything for it.

When an ''Aye!'' emerged from the crowd he gave the order to set sail.

The two Divisions set out and Thatch had to hastily get on before the ship set off to its destination.

The journey was short and went very smooth. When they were almost there Thatch came to stand next to Izo who was looking at the sea. Receiving an unexpected hug from the other which caused an unwelcome nervous feeling to appear in his stomach Izo carefully placed one hand on Thatch's shoulder to pull him away. ''Why are you hugging me?'' He asked whispering not wanting to draw attention from the others.

''As an apology.'' Thatch smiled softly.

''I-It's fine..'' Oh, curse him for being such a wimp. Why couldn't Izo act like he usually did? Straightening his back and placing one hand on his hip he smiled back. ''Forgiven and forgotten. Not that you won't do it again, but an apology is one small step forward, I suppose.'' Now that was more like it. ''But you are going to buy me new shampoo. The same brand I always have. Got it?''

Sighing dramatically Thatch threw his arms in the air. ''Fine, only because you are asking so nicely.'' He managed to avoid yet another smack from Izo because of his sarcastic comment and chuckled. ''We're here.''

Whitey Bay's ship was big, although not big enough to even compete with Moby Dick, but it definitely did look strong. The colors were mainly blue and purple. _A beautiful combination_ , Izo thought. Steel covered the front, probably meant to bear with harsh weather. It was the perfect ship for winter countries.

If they managed to make the Ice Witch join the alliance then that would be a big achievement. Izo was starting to feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he jumped onto the railing. ''Are y'all ready, men?!'' He shouted looking backwards with one gun resting on his shoulder.

Everyone shouted 'Aye' in a singular voice as they took out the planks and knotted ropes and darted forward. Thatch jumped onto Whitey Bay's ship with a grin as soon as the first plank had been placed between Moby and hers. Not wanting to lose, Izo was next and landed on a platform that seemed to be filled with snow.. It wasn't exactly snow because it didn't feel cold at all, but the crunching sound underneath his feet made him think of a winter island they were at a few months ago.

Thatch and Curiel thought it was funny to literally bury Izo in the cold snow on that island and pushed him into a two meter high pile. He still felt to wetness through his clothes to this very day. Of course, he had punished both of them thoroughly, making Thatch his waiter for a day. He had to do everything, from cleaning his room to wearing make-up. Curiel had a different punishment, which amused Izo a lot. There was one thing that did happen that day which confused him however, Thatch hadn't complained even once and did as he was asked. He even gave Izo a massage in his neck which caused his stomach to jolt with pleasure.

This snow, on Whitey's ship made Izo wonder whether it could be used as a weapon or trap for the Divisions, but he was too caught up in beating every single crewmember to stop thinking about the possible counterattacks the Ice witch woman might have prepared for them.

As they beat one crewmate after another the Ice Witch finally made her appearance with her ever so confident gaze. One eyebrow cocked upwards and one arm calmly resting on her hip she held out her sword. She held it out in front of the Division commanders, challenging them.

No words were exchanged as Izo and Thatch turned to look at each other. Thatch's amused eyes and Izo's stern and excited ones.

They stood even.

The one who beat Whitey would be the one to have won the bet.

Meanwhile, their brethren managed to take care of everyone else and now stood around them as they shouted encouragements.

Adrenaline from the battle surged through Izo as he held out his guns, and Thatch his twin blades. By doing this, they answered Whitey's invitation. She refused to go out without a fight, which was something the Whitebeard pirates always found admirable.

They had expected no less from the her.

Darting forward once more Izo fired his first shot to draw Whitey's attention elsewhere while preparing his next shot. Thatch took the opportunity too so he could swing his left sword while trying to stab her with his right one.

Whitey quickly maneuvered between the two, dodging Thatch and approaching Izo who stood three feet away from her. Izo was used to being the first target. He seemed more vulnerable than Thatch after all with his smaller and lean posture. He also used guns as his choice of weapon, making him best at distance battles instead of close combat.

But she was underestimating him, making him smile a cold smile as he easily blocked her sword. In the heat of the moment he forgot everything else surrounding him and only concentrated on firing a clear shot.

Before he could do so however, Thatch took another opportunity to meddle himself with the battle as he held a sword against her throat.

''Tsk,'' Izo reacted as he held out his left gun in front of the Witch's face. Thatch could have killed her, but they didn't simply kill off their opponents. Since Thatch took the opportunity before Izo could, he had won the bet.

''Yield and join under the banners of Whitebeard.'' Thatch spoke confidently, demanding, but Izo had the feeling the Witch wasn't going to join so easily. She seemed to have enjoyed the battle as her chest went up and down because she was out of breath and small drops of sweat glided down her forehead.

She looked up at Moby Dick, the home of the Whitebeard pirates with a melancholy glance in her eyes Izo couldn't exactly place his finger on. Lowering her head once more she focused her black irises on Izo once more. ''I will join as your ally,'' she replied.

''Why?'' Izo couldn't help but ask. He was always curious about what motivated others, Whitey seemed especially mysterious to him. He didn't know the woman, making him even more curious about how she could join so easily.

She let out a chuckle as Thatch lowered his sword, still on guard. ''Well.. There are two reasons to be honest. One is of course, I do not wish for my comrades to die now. I want to protect them and the second is.. I have a history with your father.''

''What kind of history?'' Thatch blurted out with a troubled expression. Of course someone had to have the wrong idea..

She turned around and allowed another chuckle to escape her lips. ''Not that kind of history of course. He helped me when I was a child still.''

Izo sighed. ''What made you want to fight us then?'' If they were acquaintances then why would she want to challenge Whitebeard himself?

She took out a handkerchief and cleaned her face with it. Placing her sword back in its sheath she looked around her ship. ''I wanted to prove myself. You don't accept women in the crew right? Well, I wanted to prove him I can take care of myself. Apparently, the message got through or else he wouldn't have asked you two to make me join his alliance, would he?'' Her confident gaze made place for a more tender and gentle one as she regarded the commanders.

''Fascinating..'' Izo replied with an amused smile. Hiding his guns he crossed his arms in his sleeves. ''I hope you don't mind my Division providing you with everything you need to treat your crew. You are also welcome to board Moby to speak to our father,'' he invited her with a slight respectful bow of his head as he glanced at Thatch amused. He was scratching his head with a troubled expression. Perhaps he wasn't sure what to think of all this.

Izo knew he had lost. He would have to spill the beans soon, as he had promised to do so exactly one year ago. He tried to avoid it for an entire year, but he knew he had no choice anymore. If he kept this hidden it would pain his heart more and more by the day. He was prepared for the consequences, but he really wasn't looking forward to it.

He had realized it one year ago. After Thatch straddled him when he easily won the match they had. He hadn't realized it on his own.. Not really.. He had been confused after that match and decided to talk about it with Marco.

Marco was the one to help Izo realize he has been in love with Thatch for a very long time now. And Marco had known, known this for years.


	7. Chapter 7

**I think most of you have been waiting for this moment... Enjoy!**

* * *

''Are you going to tell me your biggest secret yet or not?'' Thatch asked impatiently.

Before Izo could reply his dendenmushi started ringing. Secretly relieved he could stall the outcome of the bet they had, he took the call and after the snail gave a 'cling' sound Marco's voice was heard. ''Did you finish up there? We're gathering at an island thirty minutes away from you guys, yoi. Could you come here as soon as possible?''

Thatch and Izo shared a concerned look before replying. ''Why? What happened?'' Thatch asked.

''Portgas D. Ace challenged Oyaji. He just beat Jinbei, yoi,'' was the phoenix's reply.

''That brat?'' Izo then asked slightly surprised. ''Jinbei couldn't have gone easy on him could he?'' Jinbei wasn't really a member of the crew, but they all still saw him as a family member nevertheless. He was a dear friend and always welcome on the ship.

''They fought for five days and nights straight. Oyaji accepted the challenge and are taking care of his crew. Ace lies unconscious on the ship now, yoi.''

''We'll be there in thirty then, I suppose..'' Izo replied. He glanced over at Whitey who had been busy with helping her crew. She overheard the conversation and now turned to Izo with a smile.

''Go. We can wait.''

Izo wanted to reply, not wanting to leave her like this, but Thatch bumped his arm. ''Let's go. She can handle this herself.''

It took them indeed thirty minutes to get to the main ship of the Whitebeard pirates. Once on it, Izo noticed the unfamiliar boys with hanging shoulders sitting on the deck.

''They just accepted to join the crew.'' Haruta said as he ran towards Izo. ''Ace is still unconscious.'' With a grin he regarded the new crewmates.

Izo sighed. ''What happened out there?''

''Just as Marco explained it, Ace challenged Whitebeard, big brother Jinbei stopped him and then Oyaji asked him to join. Ace didn't want to but fell unconscious, so he decided to take him along anyway. The crew accepted Oyaji's offer without much fight, we did beat some of them because they thought they could still hold their own, but they are not really hurt physically.''

Izo raised his eyebrows. ''And Oyaji expects Ace to accept him as his father? He doesn't seem to want to, if you ask me.'' They had more often, but Oyaji took him along while the boy had refused.

''Well, he falls under Marco's custody for now. We'll see what happens I suppose.'' Haruta ran off again and Izo took a moment to study the new crewmates. Under what Division would they fall now? He supposed all that would be taken care of.

''What do you think?'' He asked Thatch who had been standing next to him all this time. He had his hands behind his head and listened to Haruta quietly. Bringing his arms down he rolled up the sleeves. ''He'll come around. Everyone does, right? Now then, I need to prepare dinner.'' Before walking off, he added one more thing. ''I'm expecting you in the kitchens soon to tell me about your secret.'' Amused, he stalked off greeting the gloomy new crewmates happily who didn't even bother responding.

Izo hoped he could stall it longer because yeah.. he didn't know why, because he would have to do it at some point, but he was dreading Thatch's answer so much..

But he also knew he had to tell him, no matter what the answer was. He came to the conclusion he'd be satisfied with Thatch being happy, that was all he wanted to see.

It was a rather pathetic excuse, he knew that, but how else was he supposed to keep himself together?

With that in mind, he made his way to the kitchens where Thatch was doing the dishes on his own.

''You came so soon, eh?'' He shouted over the running water. He dried his hands and leaned against the counter.

His stomach seemed to be dropping and his heart beat harder and harder. _This could change it all_ , he thought starting to feel miserable again. Maybe he wouldn't get to spend time with Thatch as he did now anymore, maybe they would start dating after all, or maybe they would continue this way.. Although the last one seemed impossible because confessions always brought change forward.

Crossing his arms inside his sleeves to hide the uneasiness he felt, he looked at everything except Thatch.

''Well? Am I getting a response from you, or not? You seemed spaced out, man.'' Thatch chuckled and patted on the corner. ''Come and tell your dear brother about your little secret.''

He wouldn't call him that after Izo told him his 'little' secret.

He did as asked though and stood next to him, staring at the ground instead of the man he came to love. ''Remember when you told you would never leave me and make sure I wouldn't give up on life as long as you were there?'' He whispered not sure why he started about their childhood.

He noticed Thatch shifting his position slightly out of the corner of his eye. Did it make him uncomfortable?

''I do.. I always took you by your hand and pulled you along with me as we ran away from those commoners who kept on chasing you.. How nostalgic..'' The last part was meant as some kind of joke because they both felt the atmosphere around them changing. The mood was quickly saddening. He stayed quiet after that, waiting for Izo to continue.

He swallowed and continued explaining. ''What if you would leave me now, not physically, but as..brothers.. after I tell you my secret?''

Thatch sat on the counter and faced Izo, although Izo didn't return the gaze. ''I don't care what kind of secret you have, Izo. I'm not leaving you. You are too important to me.'' He reached out his hand, hesitated halfway through and dropped it. Izo wasn't sure why he did so, maybe the pain in Izo's expression was just that visible?

''Are you sure?''

''Yes, why? What is it?''

Izo took a deep breath and finally returned the gaze. He stared at Thatch's brown eyes, with a gold line encircling the iris, which Izo always found very beautiful about Thatch. ''I..'' Biting his lower lip, he made up his mind for better or worse and spilled the beans. ''I started to have feelings for you.. I don't know when.. but I think I love you..'' Closing his eyes because the embarrassment settles in, he forced himself to look at Thatch, to see his expression and burn it into his mind so he would always remember it.

Thatch scratched the behind of his head, dropped his hand, opened his mouth only to close it again and then something flashed in his eyes, which Izo couldn't lay his finger on, sadness, pain, hurt? What was it?

He needed to know the answer, to be done with this. He couldn't wait any longer. Thatch made the wait seem endless while Izo started to dread his answer more and more. ''Thatch..'' He barely managed to bring out.

Thatch looked away, to the ground. ''I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, Izo.'' It sounded flat, cold, short. As if it was a repeated line in a cliché movie.

He knew right? Didn't he tell Marco Thatch would never feel the same way about Izo? He knew this would happen, right? And yet.. And yet it hurt so badly.. It felt like his heart was slowly showing cracks look old wood did as soon as you leaned on it too much. His head was spinning because he felt like he just fell from a mountain, his stomach turned and twisted, making it unbearable staying there, standing next to the man he loved.

Tears wanted to make their way out, but Izo bit the inside of his cheek and dug his nails in his arms who were safely hidden from view inside his sleeves. He felt a bit of liquid, blood, trickling down his arms. It wasn't enough to stop the pain from taking over.

Taking a deep breath, or more like a gasp, Izo kept staring forward with wide eyes. ''I'm going to bed..'' he whispered barely audible.

Without knowing what expression Thatch made, although he could guess what was going through the other's mind. He knew him that well after all.

Pity.

He probably felt sorry for Izo for having to do this to him, but then why did he say it in such a cold manner?

Hadn't they been best friends, brothers for thirteen years?

When he reached the door he heard a soft whisper: ''I'm sorry..''

It made Izo want to cry even more now. Still forcing the tears down, he bit his lip until blood sprang free. There was so much pain in that one apology, Thatch voice had cracked as if had to force himself to say it.

After he closed the door he ran to his bedroom where he could let the pain take over without having to worry about others seeing him.

Tears streamed down his face as he took desperate gasps for oxygen that didn't seem to want to enter his body. His heart _hurt_ , he didn't think that was even possible.

He allowed himself to cry for a while, he didn't know how long exactly, until there were no more tears left and Izo felt completely empty. He had a headache and his face felt puffy. His body was limp but Izo managed to stand up anyway and took the necessary clothing and towels he needed for a shower. Carefully making sure no one saw him he entered the shared bathroom and locked himself up in one of the stalls.

The cold water was very welcome and made him feel slightly alive again. Izo couldn't afford being _weak_ now after all. He was a commander, he had to be strong for his Division, for the other Divisions too. He was an example, like the other commanders, for the crew.

Once finished, he stepped out and stole a moment to stare out of the small round window. It was night.. How long had he been in his room and how long had he taken a shower? It was oddly quiet on the ship too. Did that mean everyone else was asleep?

As if it was a sign, drowsiness started to settle in and Izo decided it would be good if he had a dreamless sleep for once. Back in his room, he covered himself in his blankets and fell asleep within minutes, although the nightmares weren't spared.


	8. Chapter 8

''He refuses to eat,'' Thatch said handing him a bowl with soup. Marco hoped Thatch could bring a change forth in Ace's behavior, hoping Ace would slowly start to accept the fact he could be part of a family, but he simply refused to give in.

He was stubborn. Marco wasn't sure whether he liked that yet, since all the boy did was throw himself at Oyaji and try to beat him, which was pointless to begin with.

''Thank you, Thatch. I'll try to convince him once more, and if he really doesn't want to join, then he's free to go, yoi,'' Marco replied patting his brother on the shoulder.

''That's a waste, but nothing to do against it, I guess.'' Thatch's smile was hesitant which was a rare thing for him.

Marco knew him well enough to know there was always more going on than he showed, especially when he smiled too often for Marco's taste. ''You're smiling a lot today,'' he pointed out.

Thatch raised his eyebrows in surprise. ''Isn't that a good thing?''

''Doesn't have to be in your case.''

Thatch made ready to leave, or in his case, escape Marco's stern eyes. ''I'm fine, really.'' Waving his hand as if discarding the subject he stalked off.

''Where is Izo?'' Marco then asked knowing he would hit the sore spot.

Stopping in his tracks, Thatch didn't turn around to face Marco. ''How am I supposed to know that? Maybe he's re-doing his makeup or something..''

That was it, alright. Something happened between them. ''You always know where he is, yoi. Normally you would have responded with what shift he has and where he is at the moment. What's going on, Thatch?''

He merely shook his head in response and disappeared through the door to the kitchens only seconds later. Marco made a mental note he would have to talk to these two later, but for now, he had another brat who was in desperate need for a proper conversation.

Marco approached the boy named Ace with a bowl filled with vegetable soup Thatch handed him earlier. Setting it down in front of the boy Marco observed him for a moment.

His hair was raven black and he had freckles on his upper cheeks and nose. His grey eyes showed anger and sadness at the same time. It was like a storm was raging in them, making Marco wonder just what this boy went through in his life. He was sure it was quite rough. He had the same eyes most Whitebeard pirates had before they joined the crew.

''Why do you call him your old man?'' The boy asked, interrupting Marco's train of thoughts.

Marco stood back up after he placed the bowl on the floor and gladly answered the question. It meant the boy was curious at the very least. It was an opening he could use to break through his invisible walls.

A smile gracing his features, he replied. ''Because he calls us his sons. The world hates us for what we are, you know. Even if it's just a word, it makes us happy, yoi.'' Ace hid his face in his knees and wrapped his arms around it, which gave Marco yet another opening. ''I hope you don't plan on trying to challenge the old man forever. It's time you made a decision, yoi. You can't take Oyaji's head as you are now. So you either leave for now, or you stay and bear his mark!'' His words and voice got stronger as he spoke, hoping to rouse Ace just enough to change his mind. It would be a waste to let him leave, but it was still his own choice.

He heard a small grunt coming from Ace, so Marco knelt down in front of him. Hesitating, because it might be better to leave him be for now, he decided to say one more thing after all. ''If you choose to stay, then know no grudges will be held and you'll be a family member, like everyone else is. Oyaji will treat you like he would his own.'' Brushing Ace's elbow lightly with his knuckle he stood up again, this time to leave.

* * *

One week.

It's been one week and Izo had survived it. He knew it sounded ironic and rather stupid, but this was a ship and there was nowhere to be really alone. He was bound to face Thatch anytime soon anyway. Oyaji had called for him and Izo was on his way now to his bedroom where he lay attached to the machine that helped him receive more oxygen. Every time Izo saw it, a small needle pierced through his heart because it proved even the almighty Whitebeard, who had protected and taught Izo and the others so much, was growing older and older by the day.

''Good evening, son,'' Oyaji greeted while he lay on the bed. His head rested on one arm and his white coat hung on a chair next to the bed. Oyaji carried many scars on his body, his hardened muscles still showing his undeniable strength.

Izo bowed his head slightly never having been able to rid himself from the urge to show respect to his old man. ''Good evening, Oyaji.''

Oyaji sat up straight and gestured for Izo to take a seat. ''I'm sorry for calling you out here today,'' he continued while taking a draught from a bottle of rum.

Izo sat down on the chair. The smell of wood and alcohol along with one particular smell Izo couldn't really name comforted him. ''It's fine, Oyaji. I will never regret a single moment for being able to spend in your presence, really.'' He smiled softly as he tilted his head sideways.

Nodding slowly, Oyaji put down the bottle and leaned on one arm. ''I was worried and seeing you now didn't ease it. What is bothering you?''

Izo pinched his arm inside his sleeve to lessen the jolt of surprise that shot through his body like fire. His eyes faltered momentarily as he thought of a proper answer. He couldn't possibly worry Oyaji with this. It was rather silly too when he thought about it. Who went to confess their feelings to someone whom they knew didn't feel the same way? And to a man even.. It was just too strange to worry their father with.

''My apologies to have worried you, Oyaji. It's nothing worth mentioning..'' The last part came out as a mutter as his shoulders tensed because he knew Izo was lying to himself, but it was better than drowning himself in the sadness he felt.

Oyaji sighed. ''It is worth mentioning if your eyes speak more than a thousand words, Izo. Perhaps I could help you.''

Guilt settled in his chest as Izo shook his head. He just had to get it over with and continue, that was all he had to do. It wouldn't make him exactly happy and it would be hard, but he wanted to solve this one himself ,without others' help.

''So you're both refusing to talk about it?''

Startled, Izo looked up. ''B-Both?''

''You and Thatch I mean,'' Oyaji replied.

Hurt flashed in Izo's eyes before he threw one leg over the other as he pinched his arm harder. ''Something did indeed happen between us, Oyaji,'' Izo said finally having control over his voice again. He had to do some explaining or else his dad really wasn't going to let him off. ''But it's not a matter of receiving help. We will be fine, eventually..'' Izo spoke more and more hesitantly towards the end, but he quickly resolved himself once more. ''Again, I am sorry for having to worry you. Everything's cleared up between us now, so all I need is..'' He swallowed. ''All I need to do now is to l-let go..'' Give him an opponent and he could easily cancel out his emotions and thoughts, but let him speak about Thatch and he broke too easily.

His cheeks grew warm as his hand would have started to shake hadn't he held his arms very tightly. Biting the inside of his cheek to prevent tears from escaping his eyes he took a deep breath, hoping it would lessen the pain. He braced himself once more and looked at Oyaji, but that was a mistake.

Oyaji's eyes.. Was it pity? Or mere pain? Izo didn't really know what it was, but it sure as hell didn't help him keep himself together. He really didn't feel like having to scrape the thousand pieces of his heart together if he broke apart now.

''Look at you, son..'' he merely said, almost whispering.

''I..'' What was he supposed to do? ''I'm sorry.. I..'' Oh, he was so not used to this. He was the one in the crew who always knew what to say at the right moment, but that was Izo on the battlefield, not among his family. Tears now did manage to swell in his eyes as he hastily looked down again, cursing himself once more. How many times had it been now since the confession?

He felt a firm hand gently being placed on his shoulder. What was Izo even thinking? Oyaji was probably the only one who could guess Izo's thoughts so accurately. This one gesture was enough to break him and so Izo started crying and didn't stop speaking about everything that occurred the past week until he was finished.

Still sobbing, the door opened and an excited Thatch stormed in. ''He joined, Oyaji! Ace decided to join after all! That means a banquet right?!'' With a huge grin he walked in but stopped when he noticed Izo and grasped the situation. ''Oh..'' he replied suddenly going pale.

 _Oh_ … That was his reaction? Thatch was always happy and always smiled, which was perfectly fine, but he choose a very wrong moment to do so, because Izo stood up, shot Thatch an angry look before brushing past him and quickly walking to his room.

For how long was he going to act like this? Izo was acting like a teenager, which made him feel even more embarrassed for allowing himself to do so. He had to stop being so _weak_ and go back to being his usual self. A cunning commander who didn't allow others to walk over him. That was what his Division needed, not someone who cried at the mere thought of one particular man.

It was pathetic.

He decided he could allow himself to be spoiled for one hour only and then he would lock the memories from the past few days away in his heart, not opening it ever again.

Izo took a long shower, washing all the pain away, all the sadness which made him feel so weak. He used his favorite shampoo, conditioner and shower gel, dried his hair and put it up in a knot. He choose his violet kimono with a red sash and an _obijimé*_ holding it together. He put on his eyeliner, perfectly, and a red lipstick.

Admiring himself in the mirror, he felt relief wash over him. It really did help to spoil yourself like this, didn't it? Others trained it away, fought it away or merely waited until it hurt less, but for others, like Izo, it helped a little to things like this.

An hour passed and when he stepped onto the deck the banquet was about to start. Grabbing a beer from a plate one of his brethren carried he held it up as Oyaji introduced the newest crewmembers. Izo looked around and found the boy named Ace. He seemed to be gazing around with his eyebrows squinting.

After they all cheered and welcomed the new crewmembers Izo took a draught while others already finished their first beer. Immediately, a second round was announced and the Ace boy seemed to gladly take another one, while stuffing himself with food.

''Look at him..'' Marco muttered, appearing next to Izo. ''He's already getting accustomed, if he hasn't already.''

Izo let out a chuckle and opened his fan he had hidden in his sleeve. ''He looks cute, doesn't he?''

Marco raised an eyebrow. ''He's a boy, literally. A brat.''

''Hm,'' Izo muttered in response. ''Still adorable though.'' Thatch was sitting next to Ace, and they seemed to be laughing about something. Ace's smile spread from ear to ear.

''His smile..'' Marco muttered and Izo was glad he heard that.

''See? Cute.''

''I didn't mean it like that,'' Marco sighed and drank his wooden bear mug empty.

Amused, Izo took another sip himself. ''Sure,'' he replied lazily.

''Enough about Ace, you seem to be doing better than the past few days. Are you alright?''

And of course Izo couldn't escape the phoenix's sharp eyes. ''I am doing better, actually.'' He sounded surprised when he said it, he didn't really think he could scrape himself together like this, not now. Perhaps the music and laughter all around him made him feel more at ease than he probably was.

''Good,'' Marco smiled, ''because someone seems to be interested in you, yoi.'' He patted him on the shoulder before walking off.

Izo didn't get the chance to ask what he was talking about and was interrupted only a second later by one of Marco's Division members.

''Eliyah..'' Izo sort of greeted surprised. ''To what do I owe this pleasure?'' A smile graced his features as he closed his fan and hid it again.

''Good evening, commander Izo,'' Eliyah smiled back at him. ''You can call me Eli by the way, I always feel like someone's scolding me when they call me by my full name,'' he continued resting a hand behind his head. ''I was wondering if you could help me out with something.''

Eli had dark blond hair that reached just beneath his shoulder blades. It was thick and beautiful, making Izo's hands itch to braid them or really just brush them for him. He wore a white shirt that showed his moving muscles and loose brown pants with dark brown boots.

It looked rather casual, but he did look good and knew how to show his good features. His eyes were a light blue that always eyed curious, showing innocence through and through. He looked younger than Izo, but not much, perhaps two or three years at max.

Izo feigned a thoughtful look as if hesitating whether to help him or not. He then softly laughed seeing Eli suddenly having looking fearful. ''I'm sorry, I was teasing. Of course I will help you, Eli.''

A relieved sigh escaped Eli's lips and happily, he explained what he wanted. ''You make your own kimonos right? I couldn't help but wonder if you could make one for me. I mean, I'd love to help you, but I don't really know how to design clothes myself, so..'' He closed his mouth for a moment. ''I'm sorry, I always start rambling.''

Izo tilted his head to one side. ''I think they'll fit you really well. Why don't you come by tonight or tomorrow morning so we can take a look at the fabrics I still have left? I'd love to make one for you.'' He meant it. Eliyah looked rather beautiful and if he wore a male _yukata_ * then his beautiful features would stand out even more.

His cheeks flushed. ''Thank you, commander,'' his eyes lit up with pride. ''I'll make sure to come by! May I offer you another drink?'' He pointed at the wooden mug Izo was holding.

He hadn't realized he already finished it. Raising his eyebrows in surprise he nodded. ''I guess so,'' he replied.

Eli took the mug and brushed his fingers past Izo's hand briefly. He looked up at him, a little startled, Izo thought, and stalked off to fill them.

He certainly did look interesting and Izo hoped he could enjoy this evening for what it was. He hadn't felt anything special when Eli accidently touched him, but the other definitely did seem flushed. Not to mention, he did look good and didn't seem to be bad company either since they shared one interest at least for now. Perhaps Izo could ask him to come by tonight instead of tomorrow morning..

Looking around in the crows his eyes locked with Thatch's. Not being able to help it, because he definitely wasn't going to ruin it for himself tonight, he stared at him, slightly angry for what he had done earlier and cocked an eyebrow defensively. Thatch looked away, but not before his eyes seemed.. sad.. for a moment. His stomach made a turn and Izo had to take a deep breath before he could allow the feelings to slip through his defense.

Eli came back a few seconds later with two wooden mugs filled with rum. ''Already out of beer?'' He asked surprised.

''Appears so. They are fast, aren't they?'' Eli replied amused.

''It means everyone's having a good time.'' He let the corner of lip go upwards and stare at Eli. The other's cheeks flushed again to Izo's pleasure. ''We could also do it tonight, you know, take a look at the fabrics I mean. Unless you have something planned,'' Izo offered.

Eli leaned against the wall and took a long draught from his rum. ''I don't mind. I do have the time. I'd like to spend some more time at the banquet first though, if you're okay with that.'' He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

''Of course.'' Smiling at him again, he also took a sip from his mug as he looked around. ''How long have you been part of the crew? I remember the banquet we held back then. You were from a different crew too right?'' Izo always remembered others immediately if they looked interesting enough.

''I'm surprised you remember that,'' Eli chuckled. ''It's been a year now. To be honest, when I think about it, I wouldn't have minded being in the sixteenth Division, but you were just assigned to it back then, so Marco thought it was better if I joined his.'' He tilted his head to one side. ''I wonder why I wanted to join yours..'' he muttered thoughtfully. ''Ah! Perhaps it was because of your style. I really love it.'' He touched Izo's kimono briefly and held his gaze long enough to make Izo's stomach act like he was going down a roller coaster.

''You didn't even remember why you wanted to join mine?'' Izo's eyebrows squinted as he smiled. ''How rude.''

Eli laughed. ''I'm sorry, commander. How can I make it up to you?'' He took a step closer to Izo.

Clearly enjoying it, Izo allowed himself to lose himself in the obvious flirting. ''Perhaps you should come with me now then so I can finally take a look at the fabrics.'' He was dying to do it, he really wanted to. It was his favorite hobby. _Not to mention, I'll probably get to see more of that body_ , he thought.

''What are we waiting for then?'' Eli reacted. Swinging around to face him he took Izo by his hands and chuckled. ''Maybe you can even measure me.'' Cocking an eyebrow he looked at Izo questioningly all the while smiling.

''Of cours-'' Izo couldn't finish his sentence because a hand was placed on his shoulder and it was not Eli's. Turning around and letting of Eli he recognized Thatch.

''C'mon,'' Thatch muttered. ''I need to talk to you.''

He wanted to apologize to Eli first, but Thatch dragged him away already. Stopping a few meters further away, besides the main stairs where they stood only half hidden from view, Izo noticed Eli still standing rooted to his spot, confused.

''What is it?'' Izo hissed while turning back to Thatch. He was caught off guard however by his lips that were planted on his. His body decided to have a shut down from the shock. Not being able to stop himself, he briefly accepted the kiss. Thatch tasted sweet with alcohol mixed in it.

That was when Izo came back to his senses however and pushed him away, breaking the kiss, but Thatch didn't seem to want to stop yet. When Izo got to take a look at Thatch he noticed the flushed cheeks and half open eyes.

He was drunk.

A tightening feeling erupting in Izo's chest, he barely managed to keep his voice down. ''Would you have done the same thing if you were sober?!''

His chest increasing and falling a little he looked Thatch in the eyes. ''Oh come on, Izo..'' He muttered barely audible because the alcohol probably made his tongue go numb.

''Forget it.'' Izo pushed Thatch away once more and quickly paced away. Meeting Marco only shortly afterwards he told him Thatch was drunk, but Marco cut him off.

''I've seen it, don't worry. I'll take care of him.''

Izo clenched his jaw and nodded. He would like nothing more than to go to his room but his mug was handed to him and when Izo looked up he noticed Eli. ''You alright?'' Eli asked.

Izo took a deep breath, gulped down the rum and answered with a sigh. ''Could be better..''


	9. Chapter 9

''We didn't kiss! I would've remembered that, Marco!'' Thatch shouted out, still not believing he really did do it out in the public for every single crewmember to see. ''If Izo wants to have fun with that guy,-''

''Eli, yoi,'' Marco corrected him.

''Fine, Eli, then he could have done so. Why on earth would I interfere and do such a thing to Izo? And Eli saw it? You're telling me I did it on purpose so Eli could see it? You're not making any sense, Marco!'' Thatch continued ranting.

''Thanks for repeating what I just said. You're the one not making sense, Thatch. You were drunk. You always forget what happens once you get drunk, yoi. And you get a lot more honest too, which explains your actions from yesterday.'' Marco interlaced his fingers and rested his elbows on the desk.

Ace was sitting in the window sill looking out to the sea while listening amused. He didn't think this conversation would become this interesting.

It was morning and he had been sulking around in Marco's office not really sure what he could do on the ship. Thatch came by later, as Marco asked him to and since then, exactly one hour and a half ago, they had been in a heated discussion about what happened.

Yup, Thatch simply refused to believe it alright.

''Denying it won't undo what happened though~'' Ace decided to interfere with an amused tone in his voice.

That hit a sore spot however. ''You've got nothing to do with this,'' Thatch replied angrily.

''He's right.'' Marco defended Ace while cocking an eyebrow.

Ace's nerves in his stomach sprang free when Marco said it. That guy seemed so cold and distant, but he was much nicer than he thought. Truth be told, Ace had asked him lots of questions. Marco placed Ace in his own Division for the time being so he could easily help Ace out.

He didn't particularly mind since he found Marco quite the interesting guy. He showed him his devil fruit too. It was funny because it was a phoenix and yet he had blue flames, cold ones, while Ace had a flame fruit. It was nice to see someone else with a similar ability, although Marco's was very rare and still kind of different from Ace's.

On top of that, Ace wasn't sure yet what to think of everyone else and became very awkward as soon as he neared the captain. He still couldn't bring himself to call him Oyaji like everyone else did. It just seemed so strange. You couldn't decide on family _this_ easily right?

He remembered Luffy chasing after him until Ace gave in to him. He decided it very easily too. He wanted Ace as a friend and got what he wanted in the end. Did it really go like that?

Marco was patient, and although Ace would never say that aloud, he found that reassuring. He found himself rambling about himself and Luffy already, and it's only been one night ever since he decided to join.

Thatch seemed to be pretty laid back the night before. Right now however, he was being very grumpy, for good reasons Ace thought. He didn't know much about relationships.

Thatch stared at the floor and didn't reply. Marco looked at him thoughtfully before turning to Ace. ''Do you mind if we could speak privately? I'll lead you around the ship once I'm finished with him. Oyaji wants to see you too, so perhaps this is a good time to pay him a visit.'' When Ace looked at him with a troubled expression Marco nodded reassuringly and Ace knew it wasn't just a question.

It was a polite order.

Huffing softly, because Ace didn't like giving in to people so easily, he stalked out of the room and did as he was asked.

* * *

Thatch let out a deep sigh after the door closed. Seriously, he could _die_ of embarrassment. Everyone knew about what happened and Thatch did too, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit such thing with someone else in the room. Perhaps to Marco, but he and Oyaji were the only ones.

But most of all, he couldn't even begin to imagine how Izo must be feeling. His heart ached just thinking about it. He had already lied to him and went with the most obvious thing one could say: _I don't feel the same way_. He knew why he said it, and he still thought he couldn't be with Izo, but after what he did yesterday, he really might stop drinking altogether, and that was a lot coming from Thatch.

''Marco..'' Thatch urged with begging eyes. He knew what was going on with him, so why was he still trying to make clear to Thatch just what happened to him? ''I can't, you know that..''

Instead of his usual stern looking eyes, Marco looked at him.. with what? Pity? Did he feel sorry for him? It wasn't really what Thatch wanted either, so he averted his eyes and stared at the wooden desk instead.

''No, I don't know, Thatch, I don't know. All I know is that you two are both being idiots.'' Never mind the pitying look, Marco was back to his stern self. Not to mention his brutally honest self.

Thatch breathed out frustrated. This conversation didn't help him at all. He stood up not wanting to listen any longer, but Marco stopped him by holding him by his wrist. ''Wait, Thatch,'' he spoke softly.

''What?'' Thatch grumbled in return.

''You have been frustrated for quite some time now, even before Izo confessed. What's going on?''

Thatch plopped back down into his chair and took a pen from the desk. He always needed something in his hands. He didn't really like doing nothing. Not to mention, he felt very uncomfortable right now, because something had indeed bugged him the past few weeks.

''You know.. the Eli guy..'' Thatch muttered hoping Marco didn't hear it.

''He's Eli, yoi. Not the Eli guy. What about him?'' Marco asked.

''We.. kind of had a thing going on when he first joined one year ago..'' Could it be any more embarrassing? It wasn't much.. Not for Eli at least. Thatch came to the conclusion back then that relationships just weren't his thing. He couldn't take care of Eli and thus broke up with him soon after they started to go out together.

The entire thing had just confused Thatch instead of giving him peace of mind. Eli hadn't done anything wrong. It was merely Thatch' fault.

''You two have been dating for how long? A month? Why do you speak of him as if he is unfamiliar to you now then, Thatch?'' Marco fired yet another difficult question.

Thatch clicked the pen repeatedly. ''It's not that I act as if we don't know each other. I just don't want others to ask questions. I need to distance myself from him.. It just kind of became a habit..'' He was rambling, not really sure whether Marco would understand what he meant to say.

''You mean, you used to distance yourself from him, but the habit stayed and it slips through until this day still? Is that it, yoi?'' Marco perfectly summarized it.

''You couldn't have explained it better,'' Thatch said as he let a bit of sarcasm escape his lips.

''And you got jealous yesterday with Eli because Izo offered to make a kimono for him?''

''He was flirting with Izo.'' The clicking happened more often and quicker.

''But you refused Izo. So why can't they?''

Thatch flinched at those words. His heart ached as he heard his own words: _I don't feel the same.._

He did feel the same way..

More than ever..

More than he ever felt for anyone before.

He swallowed away the lump that was trying to form in his throat. ''Of course they can.. I don't know what came over me yesterday.. Why Eli of all people? I never told Izo about Eli, so there is no way he could have known about us..'' He threw the pen on the desk and stared at it as it rolled away and fell on the wooden floor on the other side.

Marco ignored the pen entirely and ran his fingers through his epic blonde hair once before replying. ''You know what my advice will be, yoi, don't you?''

''Yes, Yes. To talk about it. Ain't gonna happen though.''

* * *

''Coffee? Why not just drink rum? I'd say that makes you much more lively much quicker,'' Ace said as he leaned over the desk staring at Marco's empty mug. He had just walked into his room again after he noticed Thatch was on the deck. ''So what's going on with the drama-queens?''

Marco shot him one glance before ordening some of the papers lying on the desk. Ace seriously didn't understand why he spent all day in this small room doing paperwork and having therapy sessions with his brothers while they were pirates.

''What did Oyaji say?'' Marco asked without replying to Ace's question.

Ace took a chair and sat on it, placing his feet on the other one. ''Well, we had a long talk. I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of this now. He said you'd know what I could do on the ship for the time being until I get completely accustomed to everything here. I also asked him about those tattoos.'' Ace pointed at Marco's. He had a big one on his chest. Ace found it beautiful and was starting to have the urge to get one too.

Marco's lips curled upwards. It looked like he was teasing Ace. ''Already? That's pretty fast, yoi, don't you think?''

Ace grinned back. ''Better do it right from the start!'' If he was a Whitebeard pirate then he wanted to show the mark on his back clearly for the entire world to see. ''Oyaji said you would be able to do it, can you?''

''Alright, yoi. Where do you want it?''

With that, Ace immediately stood up and took off his light green shirt. Turning around he proudly showed his back to Marco. ''Right here!'' He pointed at it with his thumb. ''I want it big and with the white 'stash too!''

* * *

''What do you think? I think it goes well with your eye color,'' Izo complimented as he held out an olive green fabric and placed it carefully on Eli's shoulder. He thanked the Sea Goddess several times already for the invention of makeup because if Izo hadn't been able to cover the bags under his eyes then he would have felt ashamed for letting himself break like that.

He did spend the night with Eli, but they didn't do anything, not regarding sex anyway. Izo didn't feel like it and Eli understood. He told him about Thatch, after which Eli told him about himself and the past he had shared with Thatch in turn. It surprised Izo, but dots were starting to connect at the same time.

Part of him wanted to feel sorry for Thatch, but the biggest part, which was still angry, ruled and so Izo couldn't bring himself to think about it too much. Instead, Eli had comforted him and stayed with him during the night. Thanks to that, Izo had been able to get some sleep, which he wouldn't have had otherwise.

''I think you know that better than I do, Izo..'' Eli replied with a hesitant look.

''And here I thought you were quite the fashionable man.'' Izo cocked an eyebrow as he looked at the other teasingly.

Eli chuckled amused. ''You think of me too highly, commander.'' He took the fabric, letting it glide between his fingers and then placed it on the bed. ''Hey, about what I told you yesterday. I am over Thatch, you know.. I know you're in love with him and I know he wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't love you in return,'' he said. But before Izo could protest, Eli cut him off, by gently poking his cheek once. ''You two need to work it out.'' He smiled at him, a sad smile, all the while it did reach his eyes.

It made Izo want to hug him because Eli didn't deserve this. He deserved so much better.. Izo knew he wasn't any better than Thatch in this, but all he could really do was nod as his gaze drifted to the ground.


End file.
